For a man who has had his prostate removed or knows that this procedure is necessary, there will be issues to deal with pertaining to sexuality. When there are changes that happen to the body, there are changes that also take place in the mind and the emotions.
So many men I have spoken to in addition to their wives, lovers, partners, and friends have told me that they didn’t have enough information and help with the emotional aspects of surviving prostate cancer.
First, if you want to have romantic times, you can. Will you be able to do the exact same things as before the prostate is removed, no, not exactly, but your sex life isn’t over. Life and love can definitely take place after the prostate has been removed.
For the parties involved the most important factors will be attitude and desire. If both parties want to figure out what sexual activities can work to make each of you happy and satisfied, the relationship will be smoother than if you don’t.
We had two very different challenges when my husband became a prostate cancer survivor, after his prostate was removed with nerve-sparing surgery
One side of the recovery after the cancer was removed along with the prostate was the fact that he had a healing process. My husband would explain that in his mind, he wanted to just bounce back to how life and sex was before the prostate problems and the prostate removal.
There’s a secret thought that one day he would wake up and be back to normal as he remembered and knew normal sexual relationships. He never woke up to that and life was different. The body, as amazing as it can be and miracles are possible, is a human body that tends to take time to heal.
The healing process tends to be slower than we want it to be because we are just used to instant stuff. We are not patient and we are less patient with ourselves. Then, when the body isn’t healing and bouncing back like before and we are faced with leakage and wearing Depends when we want sex or at least something sexier than what we have, depression can be an issue.
I wish I could say that depression wasn’t a big problem, but it was in our lives. The depression and frustration fueled wanting to drown the emotions and thoughts in alcohol and until we could turn this around and find the ways to improve our relationship, things were rough.
It was time to make new choices and find a new pathway to an improved relationship and a satisfying sex life, although different.
You might find it inspirational to know that when my husband realized some of his physical limitations, he decided he would find pleasure in pleasing me and it changed his whole outlook and focus.
The patient who is doing his best to survive the cancer doesn’t always feel fabulous. When he is not feeling great, it’s easy for him to be self-centered and only concerned with his well-being and not to be focused on your happiness, pleasure, and enjoyment.
It is often only because the patient has not been shown there’s another option and possibility, a possibility that can have a positive impact on the marriage or relationship. This uplifting focus on doing other things to improve the sexual relationship can be just you your relationship needs.
About seven years ago as I began writing articles on EzineArticles.com about sex after prostate cancer from a wife’s perspective and this lead to thousands of readers of this content. Every month, more and more people told me they read my articles and asked for more.
As a woman, I try to have a softer and more sensual approach and to always keep in mind that sometimes simple pleasures as the best. One way to make relationships a little brighter is to add some sensuality: which means gratification of the senses.
Ask yourself, what would you like to see, hear, taste, touch, and smell? Sensuality is not always about sex, it’s about finding ways to enjoy and what you are sensing-from all of your senses.
As I listen to the radio I hear more ads for solutions to male problems and the one that is being presented more frequently includes injections to help a man have an erection. For those who are healthy enough to have sex, check with your medical professionals and ask for recommendations to support groups and other specialists as necessary to help you bounce back in the bedroom.
Another important relationship changer can be when you consider your partner and how he or she might feel and to explore their needs. What will it take to make them happy or satisfied. The patient often is concerned with his condition and can get lost in feeling badly or less than sexy. The patient can easily forget to pay attention to his or or loved one.
One day I interviewed a woman who was in the sex toy business and I said that sex toys should be viewed as an enhancement in the bedroom, not a threat. If someone can’t perform on their own or they don’t want to or just don’t feel up to it, there’s a device that would help out.
Once you’ve had the type of examinations you have had to check your prostate, there’s no need to be shy about the rest of your sex life and relationships. It’s time to be more open and to ask questions and to reach out for help and open-minded possibilities for a better future.
Take your recovery and experiences step-by-step. It is not necessary to do too much at once or to be overwhelmed because life is not easy and things aren’t changing fast enough. A little improvement can lead to a lot. Be gentle with yourself and your partner.
Keep updated about how to improve your life after prostate cancer by reading more books and articles. Help encourage others. This will also make you feel better.
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